Ask a Dog
Ask a Dog is a recurring joke in the Garfield comic strip. In these strips, Garfield reads a letter sent to "Ask a Dog" and Odie answers it. The joke has been used 39 times in the comic strip as of November 2019, and began in 2010. Letters *"Every time I try to throw a stick away, my dumb dog keeps bringing it back. What's up with that?" Signed, "Clueless in Seattle" (Garfield responds, "Dear Clueless, the first rule of training a dog is that you must be smarter than the dog... and I have some bad news for you...") *"Is there life on the moon?" (Odie howls and Garfield specifies that he does not want any more questions about the moon) *"Is it true you became man's best friend by bribing somebody?" Signed, "A cat sitting next to you" (Odie reveals a receipt) *"My dog will stare at a spot on the wall that he thinks is a bug, but it isn't, for hours. Is he stupid?" Signed, "Just wondering" (Odie stares at a spot on the wall instead of answering) *"Who wants to go for a walk?" (Odie runs off and Garfield says, "We'll have to get back to you with that answer") *"Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!" (Odie has written a letter himself) *"How come you're so slow?" Signed, "Squirrel in the backyard" (Odie barks angrily at something off-panel) *Odie starts responding before Garfield can ask the question *"Who is a good little doggie?! Is it you?! Huh?! Huh?!!" (Odie gets excited and Garfield throws the letter away) *"Isn't it true that cats are much, much smarter than dogs?" - Signed, "Someone sitting very near you" (Odie angrily looks in the opposite direction as Garfield) *"Do you think a dog will ever walk on Mars?" (Odie answers, "Yes, but only after they make a really long leash") *"Why are you guys always smelling stuff?" (Odie sniffs the letter) *"Grrrrrr!" (Garfield calls this letter "hate mail") *"Would you PLEASE leave me alone?" - Signed, "Mister Tennis Ball" (Odie walks offscreen) *"If you chase a car and catch it, what happens then?" (Odie wears a pilot outfit while Garfield tells him "that is highly illegal") *"If you were on the moon, would you howl at the earth?" (Odie runs off and Garfield says, "And no, you're not going to find out") *"If you could be an animal, what would you be?" (Garfield tells Odie, "Here's a hint... you already ARE one.") *"Do dogs really eat homework?" (Odie eats the paper) *"What can I do to make my dog's breath more pleasant?" ("Buy mint-flavored slippers") *"I'm angry with my mailman. What should I do?" ("Bite him, but first, make sure that you've had all your shots.") *"What's with you dogs rooting through the garbage all the time?" (Odie has a banana peel on his head, but denies this accusation) *"What exactly is a beef by-product?" (Odie doesn't know) *"How many different kinds of dogs are there?" ("Two. Good dogs and bad dogs.") *"Honk! Honk! Honk! Honk!" (The letter is written by a goose) *"Is a dog's bark worse than his bite?" ("Yes, but only if the dog wears dentures.") *"Who's stronger? Cats or dogs?" (Garfield says, "Dogs, but only if you count their breath.") *"The pleasure of your company is requested for a dinner party. Can we expect you at six o'clock? Signed, Mr. and Mrs. Frederick J. Flea." *"When you howl, are you singing?" (Garfield says no) *"Do you bite?" (Garfield tells Odie that the letter is not from a steak) *"If you're so smart, how come somebody has to read you the questions?" (Garfield is impressed by the question while Odie is offended) *"Do you bury bones in your backyard? If so, where exactly?" (Garfield says, "Nice try, Mrs. Feeny's dog!") *"What qualifies you to guard a house?" (Odie thinks it is his "big muscles") *"What makes you such an expert?" (Garfield responds to Odie's answer with "There's no such thing as a dog university.") *"Am I wrong to feed my dog fattening snacks?" ("Yes. Those should go to the cat.") *"What is your philosophy of life?" ("As you walk along the road of life, remember to stop and sniff everything.") *"Jingle, jingle, jingle." "Signed, the car keys." *"What should I feed my dog to make him smarter?" (Garfield says, "Cat food.") *"What kind of dog are you anyway?" ("A hockey fan.") *"What beverage goes best with dog food?" ("A cold bottle of sparkling toilet water") *"How can I get my dog to stop chasing his tail?" ("Tell his tail to stop running") Category:Comic Strip Category:Gags, Running Jokes